Habitual hangups

Being an ex-patriot means many things, but one think I have found is that I learn a lot about my own culture just by being surrounded by a different one. There are some things I miss about America. However, in the short four months I have been here, my habits have changed. Being thrust into a different culture kind of forces you to assimilate at least a little bit. Here are some things that have changed about me as an American expatriating to Korea:

1. Talking- both speed and volume: As an American, I realize now how loud of a culture we have. Seriously, we talk so loud. It's not yelling, it's just natural volume. I have changed that a bit. I don't usually talk so loud (until after a couple, if you know what I mean), and find it annoying when other Westerners do. I find myself wanting to shush them, but I save that job for the ajummas. They're really good at that.
Hazards of being an Elementary ESL teacher- I talk to people like they're four years old. I find myself using lots of gestures and speaking very slow. Sometimes this comes out, even with conversations with other foreigners. Then I have to apologize, and we all shrug and say, "What the hell is this job doing to me?"

2. Unlearning English: I am very slowly, but surely, unlearning English. I find myself having to work hard to remember the simplest of words that I regularly use. I'm having difficulty spelling correctly. This never happens. I am, and have always been, a stickler for proper grammar and spelling.
It's not like I'm learning more Korean, either. I am taking Korean classes, but I'm not replacing one language with another. I'm just unlearning English. It's very frustrating.

3. Bowing: I've brought this up before in my mini-etiquette class. However, now I find myself bowing at everyone, including foreigners I'm meeting for the first time. I'm past going for a handshake. I go straight for the bow. Another one of those, "What the hell is this job doing to me?" moments.

4. Eye contact: In Korea, I learned that Westerners are very creepy in that we like to make eye contact while conversing. It's a way we let each other know that we're paying attention. Not so in Korea. Making too much eye contact is considered weird and creepy. Also, if you happen to have pale blue eyes like me, they seem to get even more uncomfortable. So....watch out for that.

5. On the topic of conversation: Koreans tend to mutter affirmations while you are talking to them. Sometimes it's just a little "Mmm" sound that lets you know they are listening and taking in the information. Some Koreans will make this sound every two seconds. Don't be alarmed, they are listening, and that's their signal. When I first came to Korea, one of my teachers did this as I spoke all the time, and it made me extremely annoyed, since I thought she was just (this is one of those moments where I sit and think really hard for the word I'm trying to think of....) dismissing (that's the one!) me and moving on. Very quickly I learned that this is just something they do. However, I have started picking it up, and this annoys me.

6. Eating utensils: I thought I might have a problem with this one, but I really don't. I can eat anything with only chopsticks and a spoon to aide me. I have gotten seriously good at using chopsticks. Armed with chopsticks and a spoon I can eat soups, pastas, chicken wings(that one is a bit tricky), fruit, rice, squid, peanuts, anchovies, kimchi, etc. Put it in front of me, and I will eat it.

7. Spicy food: If you knew me back in America, you would know that I don't generally like spicy food. I would rather taste my food than punish myself just to find the thrill of capsaicin. However, in Korea, they generally make food spicy. Thanks to foreigners in the past, Koreans have the idea that all foreigners have very fragile palates, therefore don't like spicy food. Well, I've never been one to accept when someone says, "You can't," or "It's too much for you," so I try everything I can. You know what? I like it. I like spicy food, and have gotten a lot better at eating it, simply because of the fact Korea told me I can't. Fine, Korea, you won the battle, but I win the war. Bring it on.

In closing, being in Korea changes you. You tend to look at things differently, excuse things that you wouldn't have in your home country, but it's all alright. It's all part of the experience of being an expat and moving to a culture vastly different from your own. I'm sure I'll have more habits change after a while, but for now, these are the ones I can recall at the moment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to study for a Korean test tonight. Wish me luck.

Egregious Etiquette Errors

I really like alliteration in titles, if you can't tell. I think that's one thing I haven't come across in Korean, so I kind of miss it. I never realized how much alliteration I use until I start doing blogs.

To the point:

Sometimes while experiencing a new culture, mistakes are made. Some of these mistakes can be minor, to where no one really cares, and no one really calls you out on it. Then, there are mistakes that are simply egregious. Some that just so happen to be incredibly rude or strange that Koreans can't help but call you out on it.
These are my stories. Names may have been changed to protect privacy. (And by "may" I mean "have not")

Food: Do not stick your chopsticks in rice when you're not using them. I was warned about this before I got here. This is a big mistake, they tell me. Do not do this, they say. So....what do I do? I don't stick my chopsticks in the rice. (haha, you thought I would be the one to screw up, didn't you?) No, it wasn't me, but someone else did.
A simple visitor to my humble school, who happened to be foreign and happened to put his or her chopsticks in his or her rice when not using them.

Apparently it wasn't that big of deal. Or, so I thought. My co-teachers didn't say anything about it at the time, but waited until he or she left and then brought it up to me. "Did you see? He/She put his/her chopsticks in the rice. Why would you do that? Do you know?" This is the part where I'm supposed to have all the answers on why foreigners would do something wrong. Of course, I was a big disappointment, as I said, "I don't know."

"Bless you"

Where I'm from, when someone sneezes it is customary to say "Bless you." Doesn't necessarily have religious connotation anymore, it's just habit more than anything. However, in Korea, you don't say anything after someone sneezes. When you do, in my experience, people tend to look at you strangely and laugh.

All about context clues:

Koreans have a very distinct way of getting a point across. That is, they don't get to the point. Ever. It's a very indirect pattern of speech. You are left with only context clues to guide you on what to do. Be careful. This could, and often does, go horribly wrong.

Opening doors:

Usually a man, or delightfully polite woman, will open a door to allow someone else to go through, or at least hold it open behind them for someone behind them not to get hit in the face with it. However, in Korea, you don't do this. If you do, you will be there forever. Seriously, there are too many people to do this. Also, people look at you weird.

When in doubt, just bow:

This one is actually really important. It's a respect thing. There is a certain hierarchy based on job, age, family, wealth, gender, etc., that must be followed. If you're not sure about what to do, better to be overly polite and just bow. EXCEPT to people you know are younger than you. It's weird.

Anyway, that's about what I have to say about etiquette errors that I have learned.