Tedious Teacher Tasks

Back to alliteration with vivacious vengeance!

This post shall be about tasks, activities, or responsibilities that I, as a teacher, must do/be in order to complete my duties. However, they were not really explained in the official "handbook." (Keep in mind that this handbook is neither written or spoken. It is simply inferred. I suppose that this handbook is supposed to be learned through osmosis. Simply being in the area of the school, you must breathe deep and meditate to find it.)

For the trolls: Yes, I am aware I teach EFL, not ESL.

1. Being a glorified babysitter

There are times when class just doesn't go how you'd like it to. The kids won't settle, they won't be quiet, they won't pay attention. That is when mean teacher comes out. Sometimes all I have to do is stand in the front of the room with a stern expression until they all start wondering why Teacha looks so mad, they decide as a group to be quiet and find out. Occasionally I will have to yell. I have heard of some teachers who completely lose control of their class and basically sit there while the kids go apeshit. Thankfully (knock on wood) I haven't had that experience. My students are still young enough to be frightened by a short, white lady yelling English at them.

2. Being a symbol of America

Kristen Teacha is America. 

Simple as that, I now represent America to everyone I run into. No matter if I'm having a bad day, am in a bad mood, and really don't want to deal with Korea, I am America. For most of my students, I will probably be one of the few, if not only, experience they have with an American. The same goes for most of the teachers at my school, and the parents in the surrounding neighborhood. I'll make a few examples:

Kristen is accidentally rude = Americans are rude

Kristen is impatient with something = Americans are impatient

Kristen thinks a food is too spicy = That food is too spicy for Americans

Kristen is late once = Americans are always late

And this can even go as far as including all foreigners, not just Americans. Sometimes you really have to watch what you do here, because someone always seems to be watching the foreigners. (Especially in shops, since we ALL know that foreigners steal)

3.  Teacher's meetings

Teacher's meetings are the bane of my existence in this school. They happen every couple of weeks, and they are the most horrible thing ever. I get called on by my co-teachers to go to the meeting because the Principal likes to see me there. Everyone notices when the white girl isn't there.

However, these meetings, as you would guess, are conducted in Korean. Do I know Korean? No. I'm working on that, but no, I have no idea what they are saying. So, I get to sit there for an hour and a half, sometimes two hours, and pretend to listen. I clap whenever everyone else does, but I will NEVER laugh when everyone else does, because I don't know if it's funny or not. I cherish my humor, and my judgement of all things funny. So far, Korean does not sound funny to me. When I learn Korean, that may be different.

Hopefully during the meeting I get a seat that faces the window, so at least I can keep my brain active by counting windows on the high-rise across the street, or the leaves on the tree outside, or try to read the truck that drives past. After each meeting, my co-teachers, without fail, ask me, "Kristen, it is boring, right?"

.....yes. Why do you insist on me being there?

4. Teacher's dinners

This one is two-sided, actually. I kind of like them. I kind of don't. 

Imagine being stuck in a hot room with a bunch of people whom you can't converse with. Imagine all of those people acting as if you don't exist because they can't converse with you. This is a teacher's dinner.

This is when all the teachers get together and go to a restaurant to treat ourselves for being so awesome. It's a time for all the teachers to get together, eat a bunch of food, talk loudly, and get very drunk. It's pretty fantastic. Now, being a foreigner at this party, I don't speak. I sit at a table mostly alone with only food as comfort. Fine with me. As I stuff my face, a microphone appears out of nowhere. I'm serious, it just appears somehow. The principal will come up and give some sort of motivational speech (I think) and then hands off the microphone to someone else who starts talking in rapid Korean. Then suddenly I'm being pushed to go up. Oh no, I think, not again. Oh yes, he hands the microphone to me. I must speak Korean until I can't anymore and everyone is in awe of my mad Korean skillz. Then I give a little bow and return to stuffing my face full of delicious food.
I don't like the microphone, but I love free food. Catch-22, isn't it?

5. Being a (not even glorified) babysitter during breaks
 I understand that education is really important to Korean culture. So important, in fact, that these kids never really stop studying. They don't have much time outside of studying, unless it's to study some activity like taekwondo, soccer, piano, etc. Other than that, my own students enjoy computer games, dancing, and running around like maniacs for no conceivable reason.
Summer break comes along, and it's not really anything like American summer break. The schools go year-round here, so there's a month break in July/August and a winter break in January/February. During those breaks, students are free to do whatever they please......or not. In America, you would see kids roaming the streets looking for a park to chill in, some new bug to poke with a stick, or nowadays lazing in front of a computer screen or television. In Korea, these kids are stuck in camps, hagwons, extra lessons, etc., to make sure their brains don't rot over the break.
I actually don't mind the camps that much, other than my "vacation" is really more work than a normal work-week.

I can't much complain, though. At the moment I have the office to myself, computer speakers commandeered to play music throughout the empty hall. I am sitting in air-conditioning, trying to muster up the motivation to actually do something productive, but instead I am writing blog posts. Ah, the pleasures of deskwarming*.

I also can't complain because I do love my job. Even with the annoying teachers' meetings, dinners, camps, rules, hierarchies, etc., I couldn't imagine myself back in a kitchen making food for ungrateful bastards for minimum wage. Or back in a call center.....ugh. Don't think about that one ever again.

*deskwarming: the period in which EFL teachers in Korea must be at their desks during school breaks. Whether working, sleeping, or browsing youtube, the native speaker must be at the desk for work hours.

Dokdo? More like Dok-don't even go there, Japan!

I am a level 7 slacker.
I should be doing actual work right now, but I feel like blogging to the world about how my life is significant and special. Or something.

I should probably write a bit about Dokdo. For those of you who don't know, Dokdo is an island a ways off the east coast of South Korea.

It's sovereignty has been disputed since the beginning of time (or so it seems). Japan says it's Japanese, Korea says it's Korean, and they simply don't seem to want to come to a conclusion since no one wants to give it up. 

Anyway, being a foreigner in Korea sometimes has its perks, and one of those is being used in Korean propaganda! Since I am very awesome with my foreign-ness, I was chosen, along with 19 other foreigners, to become Honorary Ambassadors to Dokdo. We were taken on a three-day trip to Ulleungdo, then from Ulleungdo took a ferry to see the harbor of Dokdo for 20 minutes. They gave us Korean flags to take pictures with, and that we did.

See? I blend right in, I know.

Then after 20 minutes the police started herding us like sheep back onto the ferry for another two and a half hours back to Ulleungdo. It was an amazing trip. The islands were beautiful and the water was so blue and clear and the squid was (mostly) delicious. It really didn't hurt that I was surrounded by 19 awesome people as well. I made some good friends on that trip, and I'm really glad that I went.

As for the conflict?

To me, it doesn't really matter. I'm not Korean, will never be Korean, so it doesn't affect me. However, through the history and research I have read (even some information apart from the stuff they fed us throughout the trip) I would have to concede that Dokdo is Korean. It has been Korean, and probably should stay Korean. 

See? Logic.

What I'm most surprised by is the backlash against the foreigners who went on the trip. Biggest surprise about that is that the over-the-top judgment is coming from our own fellow foreigners. I get it, I really do. Foreigners shouldn't be used for propaganda, I have no idea what they're doing with my picture, they can attach my name to anything, and you generally hate everything about me doing this. 

Guess what? I don't care what you think about me or my reasons to do this, or the consequences afterwards.

The way I see it, I got a free trip to an island most KOREANS don't ever get to visit in their lifetimes, as well as four days away from teaching responsibilities (as much as I love the buggers, some time off is appreciated). I see no harm in Koreans putting my picture in a newspaper and attaching it to their own common knowledge. Sure, the Japanese don't use foreigners, but I'm sure they have their own ways of propaganda, seeing as they're not allowed on the island.

In closing, going to Dokdo was an honor and privilege. I volunteered to be a pawn of propaganda to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I hope to never forget the experience of going to Ulleungdo and Dokdo. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, let alone gotten the opportunity to walk around. I made better friendships in four days than in the five months I've been in Korea. 

So...do I regret being a propaganda tool? 

Not at all. That's a stupid thing to be regretful of. What a stupid question.

With that, I leave you with pictures of Ulleungdo.

A view of Ulleungdo from a neighboring island(not Dokdo)

The water really was that blue. Seriously. This picture doesn't even do it justice. It was paradise.

Habitual hangups

Being an ex-patriot means many things, but one think I have found is that I learn a lot about my own culture just by being surrounded by a different one. There are some things I miss about America. However, in the short four months I have been here, my habits have changed. Being thrust into a different culture kind of forces you to assimilate at least a little bit. Here are some things that have changed about me as an American expatriating to Korea:

1. Talking- both speed and volume: As an American, I realize now how loud of a culture we have. Seriously, we talk so loud. It's not yelling, it's just natural volume. I have changed that a bit. I don't usually talk so loud (until after a couple, if you know what I mean), and find it annoying when other Westerners do. I find myself wanting to shush them, but I save that job for the ajummas. They're really good at that.
Hazards of being an Elementary ESL teacher- I talk to people like they're four years old. I find myself using lots of gestures and speaking very slow. Sometimes this comes out, even with conversations with other foreigners. Then I have to apologize, and we all shrug and say, "What the hell is this job doing to me?"

2. Unlearning English: I am very slowly, but surely, unlearning English. I find myself having to work hard to remember the simplest of words that I regularly use. I'm having difficulty spelling correctly. This never happens. I am, and have always been, a stickler for proper grammar and spelling.
It's not like I'm learning more Korean, either. I am taking Korean classes, but I'm not replacing one language with another. I'm just unlearning English. It's very frustrating.

3. Bowing: I've brought this up before in my mini-etiquette class. However, now I find myself bowing at everyone, including foreigners I'm meeting for the first time. I'm past going for a handshake. I go straight for the bow. Another one of those, "What the hell is this job doing to me?" moments.

4. Eye contact: In Korea, I learned that Westerners are very creepy in that we like to make eye contact while conversing. It's a way we let each other know that we're paying attention. Not so in Korea. Making too much eye contact is considered weird and creepy. Also, if you happen to have pale blue eyes like me, they seem to get even more uncomfortable. So....watch out for that.

5. On the topic of conversation: Koreans tend to mutter affirmations while you are talking to them. Sometimes it's just a little "Mmm" sound that lets you know they are listening and taking in the information. Some Koreans will make this sound every two seconds. Don't be alarmed, they are listening, and that's their signal. When I first came to Korea, one of my teachers did this as I spoke all the time, and it made me extremely annoyed, since I thought she was just (this is one of those moments where I sit and think really hard for the word I'm trying to think of....) dismissing (that's the one!) me and moving on. Very quickly I learned that this is just something they do. However, I have started picking it up, and this annoys me.

6. Eating utensils: I thought I might have a problem with this one, but I really don't. I can eat anything with only chopsticks and a spoon to aide me. I have gotten seriously good at using chopsticks. Armed with chopsticks and a spoon I can eat soups, pastas, chicken wings(that one is a bit tricky), fruit, rice, squid, peanuts, anchovies, kimchi, etc. Put it in front of me, and I will eat it.

7. Spicy food: If you knew me back in America, you would know that I don't generally like spicy food. I would rather taste my food than punish myself just to find the thrill of capsaicin. However, in Korea, they generally make food spicy. Thanks to foreigners in the past, Koreans have the idea that all foreigners have very fragile palates, therefore don't like spicy food. Well, I've never been one to accept when someone says, "You can't," or "It's too much for you," so I try everything I can. You know what? I like it. I like spicy food, and have gotten a lot better at eating it, simply because of the fact Korea told me I can't. Fine, Korea, you won the battle, but I win the war. Bring it on.

In closing, being in Korea changes you. You tend to look at things differently, excuse things that you wouldn't have in your home country, but it's all alright. It's all part of the experience of being an expat and moving to a culture vastly different from your own. I'm sure I'll have more habits change after a while, but for now, these are the ones I can recall at the moment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to study for a Korean test tonight. Wish me luck.

Egregious Etiquette Errors

I really like alliteration in titles, if you can't tell. I think that's one thing I haven't come across in Korean, so I kind of miss it. I never realized how much alliteration I use until I start doing blogs.

To the point:

Sometimes while experiencing a new culture, mistakes are made. Some of these mistakes can be minor, to where no one really cares, and no one really calls you out on it. Then, there are mistakes that are simply egregious. Some that just so happen to be incredibly rude or strange that Koreans can't help but call you out on it.
These are my stories. Names may have been changed to protect privacy. (And by "may" I mean "have not")

Food: Do not stick your chopsticks in rice when you're not using them. I was warned about this before I got here. This is a big mistake, they tell me. Do not do this, they say. So....what do I do? I don't stick my chopsticks in the rice. (haha, you thought I would be the one to screw up, didn't you?) No, it wasn't me, but someone else did.
A simple visitor to my humble school, who happened to be foreign and happened to put his or her chopsticks in his or her rice when not using them.

Apparently it wasn't that big of deal. Or, so I thought. My co-teachers didn't say anything about it at the time, but waited until he or she left and then brought it up to me. "Did you see? He/She put his/her chopsticks in the rice. Why would you do that? Do you know?" This is the part where I'm supposed to have all the answers on why foreigners would do something wrong. Of course, I was a big disappointment, as I said, "I don't know."

"Bless you"

Where I'm from, when someone sneezes it is customary to say "Bless you." Doesn't necessarily have religious connotation anymore, it's just habit more than anything. However, in Korea, you don't say anything after someone sneezes. When you do, in my experience, people tend to look at you strangely and laugh.

All about context clues:

Koreans have a very distinct way of getting a point across. That is, they don't get to the point. Ever. It's a very indirect pattern of speech. You are left with only context clues to guide you on what to do. Be careful. This could, and often does, go horribly wrong.

Opening doors:

Usually a man, or delightfully polite woman, will open a door to allow someone else to go through, or at least hold it open behind them for someone behind them not to get hit in the face with it. However, in Korea, you don't do this. If you do, you will be there forever. Seriously, there are too many people to do this. Also, people look at you weird.

When in doubt, just bow:

This one is actually really important. It's a respect thing. There is a certain hierarchy based on job, age, family, wealth, gender, etc., that must be followed. If you're not sure about what to do, better to be overly polite and just bow. EXCEPT to people you know are younger than you. It's weird.

Anyway, that's about what I have to say about etiquette errors that I have learned. 

K-Wreck SMASH!

So, I'm not in the greatest of moods today. I've realized that I might have spread myself a little too thin and now I am paying for it with stress. Along with stress comes the frustration of living in another country. That rolls into a rather large, bulbous form known as consternation. Add in some anxiety. Throw in some sleeplessness. Fold in several small annoyances. Turn the heat up(after all, you can't forget that it's summer!) and wrap it all up in a sweater and trousers, and you have a magnificent recipe for K-Wreck SMASH!!!!

I know Fridays are usually the days for my thank you notes, and today is no exception. I shall rise above and be thankful for the incredible opportunity to come to this lovely country and meet all these delightful people.

Thank you, ajumma on the train, for popping your gum for a full half hour. I actually didn't realize that looking like a cow gnawing on grass could be even more annoying. However, you have proven me wrong once again, Korea. Thanks to the same ajumma for staring at me that whole half hour, while popping your gum. It wasn't awkward at all, actually.

Thank you, water heater in my apartment, for being so incredibly good at your job that I can't take a shower without burning and boiling myself. I thought we had a good relationship, but I suppose now that it's summer you've moved on. Is it the toilet brush? I knew I should've bought the less pretty one.

Thank you to my bank card for not working. I knew I didn't need all that stuff for my class the next day. 

PS: Thank you to my secret stashes of cash everywhere for making sure I had enough cash to pay for said stuff.

Thank you to my school. Actually, I didn't need to know that the schedule had changed. And that 5th grade class definitely could deal with the whole 10 minutes of class they actually got to have. Since they don't have English next week, I'm sure that's more than enough time to actually absorb new vocabulary and sentence structure.

Those are just some of the small, but frustrating, annoyances lately. Also, as usual, the staring. I don't know that I'll ever be able to completely ignore the staring. 

However, writing this makes me feel just slightly better. Now I just feel like doing this:

And now, since it's Friday, I shall finish my lesson plans and wait for 4:30 to roll around so I can start my nerdfest of a weekend. Next post: a review of Seoul's Comic World!!!

It's Friday.....thank Cthulhu

All I have to say is:

It's Friday, thank Cthulhu.

Aww, yeah.

Being that it's Friday, I feel I have some thank you notes to give out. Roll call!

Thank you, teacher's office, for calling me down to sign an attendance paper and then sending me on my way with a gift of toothpaste. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a message, but I was just about out anyway, so I'll take it as Korean intuition.

Thank you old Korean people, for keeping it real. Seriously, you guys can do whatever you want. Most of the time, you do exactly that. Thank you for shushing people on the subway, while you can yell into your cell phone unchecked. Thank you for giving people dirty looks until they give you their seat (Except us waygookins, of course. Our seats are somehow tainted). Thank you for deciding to piss and poo wherever you like, even outside in full view of the public. Thank you for mentally scarring me for the rest of my existence.

Thank you to all Koreans who use public transportation. Am I really the only person that realizes that there is more than ONE line to go through when exiting the subway station? I mean, there can be six queues available, but everyone crowds to the same one. Probably too busy on their phone to realize.

That's as thankful as I can be right now. I'm going to finish my day of teaching, then head off into the sunset toward Busan for Comic World. Boo-yah.

Once I'm back I'll make sure to make a post about my experience of paragliding last weekend. I'm behind on the blogging, sorry.

So there's this thing called an "Open Class."

There's this thing called an "open class" for new teachers here in South Korea. It's mandatory, everyone does it, and it's a total pain in the ass. Seriously, I can't be bothered.
What happens is that a few new teachers are put into a group. This is referred to as the "Critical Friends Group," or CFG. These "friends" come to your school and sit in on one of your classes. Sometimes the Principal, Vice-Principal, other teachers, etc., can come too. They watch, take notes, and afterwards give you some helpful pointers on what you could do to improve, what you're doing really well, etc. So far I've gone to three of these classes and I've gotten new ideas for my own classes from each one of them.

You might be asking yourself, "Well, that doesn't sound too bad. Maybe a little nerve-wrecking, but certainly not that big of a pain."

To that, I answer:

Of course, that's not the bad part. I don't mind having people come watch me teach. I'm actually not nervous at all. Call it confidence or stupid pride, but I'm a good teacher. I enjoy my job, and I think it shows. The only problem with open classes are your co-teachers. 

For an open class, you have to submit a lesson plan to the DMOE about a week in advance. No problem, right? Well, that's until you have a co-teacher who believes that this open class will either make or break their entire career. So they give their advice. Which basically looks like this:

No, this is not an attempt at subtle racism.

So it ends up that I write 5 different lesson plans before we send one off to the DMOE for the open class. I figure if I don't like it, I can still change it before the actual class. I have a week left, right?

Well, today I went to see another open class. By the time I got back, my co-teacher had worked herself into such a frenzy over what needed to be changed. I'm like: 

Okay, fine. We can change some stuff. Not a problem.

So we do. I rewrite the lesson again, putting in a couple new games and some vocab drilling. I figure it's brilliant (as usual). Apparently not. My co-teacher is afraid that some of the rules of the game won't be understood. 

So now we're rewriting and "experimenting" with a different class tomorrow. At this current moment I just feel like doing this:

This post was really just an excuse to use a bunch of gifs, 'cause I love them so. Also, I'm just frustrated with stressed out Koreans.